19 August 2009

Time to Grow Up

I moved Monday. Into my new town. Into my new apartment. Into my new school. Into my new life. I realize that what I have done is something new for my family. I have risen out of the ashes of mediocrity and gone to college. I have strengthened my faith, my hope, and my life with God. I have truly learned (in the short time I've been here) that isolation doesn't bring closer to yourself - it brings you closer to the one's you missed.

I went to sleep on Monday night. On Tuesday, for the first time, I opened my eyes for the first full day of this journey. I was born into my world, without dying out of the old one (at least I hope not). Yet, even as I laid in bed looking at my new ceiling, in my new bed, I realized the newness of this life isn't matched with the struggles and triumphs of the old life. I have grown into something more than I could ever have expected to be. I have conquered that which has plagued my family. I am going to college. I am going to succeed. Now, don't misunderstand me. I do not say that I am not proud of my parents, for they gave me more than I could ever thank them for. Nor am I saying that they did not succeed. What I mean is I reached a milestone which, up until this point, has not been conquered by any person in my family. I know that I'm where I'm supposed to be because of how ecstatic I feel being here.

As I stood out on my balcony, outside my apartment, I understood that everything in my life has, so far, been building up to this one magical moment. This time when I can grow, and live on my own. I understand now, that what God wants in my life is just this. He wants me to succeed. In every venture. I guess that promise has never sank in until now. This promise of fulfillment. This hope for the future. I know that I can do it, because God is with me. God is guiding me. Satan is trying to pull me down. But my success is not measured in how many times I fail, but how many times I overcome the failure. It's not measured in how many dreams I make, but in how many dreams come true. My success is not dependent on any one thing, except my desire to get where I want to go.

I travel through this world with nothing more than hope and faith - but I realize now, that is all I need. For God is guiding me. I know, as I stare out above these trees, that God makes Kings from the smallest peasants. For a Kingdom is nothing more than the intentional success of one lonely man, who wants to make a difference. My kingdom will be for God. My desire will be for God. My new life, in my new school, in my new apartment, in my new town, will be for God. I have been resurrected into a new aspiration to please God - through what I learn at school, and life.

They say every ending is a new beginning. But what if every beginning is a new ending? What if we go along one journey until something new happens? You don't quit one job until you start working at another. Then why would you end one journey before another begins? I know this is a beginning of my new life. This is also the end of my old life. My life where I desired earthly things. Now, I will live for God. In everything I do. It pleases me to please him.

This is my Declaration of Christianity. This is my Declaration of Independence. This is my new life. I will live, grow, and walk with the Lord. Live for him.

As I go to bed each night, I will wake with the knowledge that whatever God has planned for me, I will succeed.

My new life is Independence. My new life is Prospect. My new life is Success.

2 comments:

  1. Wow. I'm proud of you Marshall. Really, I am. I will also be the first in my family (minus my mom) to go to college. The first on my fathers side to ever go. It is a really big milestone to overcome even with the support of my mom.

    And it is truly an amazing thing to live for God. I hope that you think of him in all you do, and you stick with this Declaration.

    -Kristen-

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  2. My Dear Marshall,

    I can’t put into words how proud I am to call you my friend. You have blessed my life in so many ways. You are so wise beyond your years. You have taught me so much. As you are beginning this chapter in the Life of Marshall, please know that as your old life crumbles and fades, in your new life God will keep His promise to be by your side along the way. You have found strength through adversity. Your background and circumstances may have influenced who you are, but you are responsible for who you become and you are well on your way to becoming the living masterpiece that God created you to be to reflect His Glory. When you put God first in your life, focus on being a blessing to others, God will bless you in abundance.
    Your declaration to be God‘s servant shows how much you value your relationship with God.
    Embrace where he has you now.


    Much Love.
    Pam

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