Born to be Wild

This has nothing to do with the song. On the contrary, it has to do with nothing else but the sheer power, and might of God. Lately, I've been having these feelings. I just feel immense guilt anytime I think about me sinning. My heart becomes heavy to the point where I can't seem to shake the feeling that I don't deserve anything but the wrath of God. After all, what have I done to deserve salvation? I didn't die. Or did I?

God calls us to live for Him. Do His will and cherish his word! Why would we want less than to share his almighty purpose? Where would the hope be if we were destined to live a life of sin with no chance at resurrection? Without the hope of one day meeting the one who placed where we are?

Through these feelings I've discovered that I want nothing more than to share the word of God. Be His follower, and have him guide me where I belong. I don't think I've fought this for many years, however, I do feel I've tried to delay this incomparable destiny. I think that I've spent many years allowing myself to tread the waters of the earth without ever finding the life preserver of the Lord. Now, I don't mean to contradict myself. I knew who God was, I loved him and held Him close. Well, not close, but - inside. I didn't allow his light to touch those around me, however, I allowed the light to touch them while putting Jesus in the shadow and taking the credit. I spent my life wondering why no one was congratulating me, why no one treated me like I've done something good, why no one felt proud of me. I didn't realize that Jesus has done that. And in return I must show him the same good fortune and favor He has given me. Knowing this simple thing enlightened my world more than anything I ever discovered in the Bible - though I'm sure that's in there.

I understand now that my life is meant for Him. My life is no longer to be controlled by my weak choices. I rise from what was once a feeble human, and venture in a dark forest where few tread. A place that fills many with so much fear that they dare not journey into this land. It is not a desert. It is just beyond the clearing where God's salvation is given. The forest is filled with those who took the risk to live for him. It is rich with a soil so fertile that if you were to plant something it would spring up and yield ten-fold. However, it does not come without work. This is a place where God's children can spread His word. They can plant the seeds of the Lord and nurture each seed with gentle kindness and a subtle hand. This forest poses a threat to Satan which can't be contained. He will lash out against anyone who dares enter into the trees. But, God will shower His few precious followers with the ability to banish him to his desert, to the place that yields nothing but hate, anger, revenge, and lust. The forest which I will choose to travel into will have a perpetual tempest of Satan. But with the Lord hovering over to ensure that His crops produce a fruit sweet enough for anyone to taste with no regret I know I will succeed.

Recently, I traveled to a friend's church. I went to watch a performance of a prophetic dance team ('trEd dance' www.treddance.com). The show was amazing and the result it produced in me was what I believe first had me thinking about this step I want to take. Without going into too much detail I will tell that I knew what they were doing was for the Lord. I knew that they were succeeding in their mission to share His word. I understood this very simply. I cried. Not just at the beautiful performance, but because I could feel the Spirit of God in the place. Not just God, but Satan trying to overtake some of the feeble ones who might allow him in while thinking that it is God. I don't understand many of these things that I feel. I have some sort of connection with the Spirit that I can't explain. Maybe I don't even know what it is myself - yet. But then, I suppose we all do.

I know that I was Born to be Wild for the Spirit of the Lord. Taking bold choices to support Him, and allowing risks to be that may alter how people see Him. And I don't mean wild like "Where the Wild Things Are" but a different form. Not dangerous, but carefree. A truly beautiful sight to anyone who might behold it - and especially to the Lord!

I pray for everyone reading, and everyone who's not. I hope that you can pray for me as I venture into the shadow to raise a new generation of followers. I hope some of you may even follow me. But most importantly, I pray that you are learning, listening, and loving the Lord. It may take some time, but you'll get it! Hang in there!

Have a blessed day! I'll talk to you soon!

To err and forgive

How can we live? How can we succeed? How can we truly know life if we don't experience it? But, how can we get the experiences we want without the sin, and guilt? We truly have no other way except through God. And, as everyone learned in Sunday School, Man is seperate from God, by nothing except by sin. Sin is a beast; wild, untamed, and completely common.

The truth is that everyone has at least one thing they want to do; one thing they want to experience; one thing they have always wanted to try, just once. And most people don't end up doing it because they are in fear of sin, as they were taught in sunday. This feeling is absolutley common, and absolutely correct. Our life is filled with choices; choices we must make, and choices in which we must suffer the consequences (regardless of which decision you make). And those consequences make us feel guilt. That guilt can be that we feel guilty for the sin because we chose to succum to temptation, or guilt that we feel because we didn't do it - and we REALLY wanted to.

Sin is natural. Sin is bad. Sin is inevitable. After all, "To err is human, to forgive is divine." You know that saying, 'It will chew you up and spit you out?" This is not completely like sin. Sin will chew you up. But it will not spit you out. Your addiction to the sin will carry you farther than you ever intended to go. Sin will swallow you whole and resist every attempt to have you climb back out. It is your job to fight this sin. You must fight it. It is a never-ending battle; not just for you, but for all of mankind. The only thing that can truly save us is God, through his perpetual mercy.

For all we have, God has given us. However, for all we sin, it gets taken away. Until that one glorious moment in which we accept God, and his forgiveness. From the bowels of sin, from the depths of addiction, from the torture of pain, we must beseech God to forgive us and rise up from the ashes of what once was, as a Phoenix.

We are nothing, we have nothing, we know nothing; unless God is with us, and in us. Sin casts so great a shadow that God cannot be caught in its darkness. He can conquer - and is the only cure - for the blackness that it leaves in its wake.

Pray for forgivness. Ask for His mercy. And beseech God for His protection.

In His name. Pray. Amen.