The Pact

Have you ever heard that song, "You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back"? Lately I've thinking about this simple line. This simple promise to each other. We will take our time to share God's word - to allow God to overwhelm us in such a way that we want nothing more than to bring back His word and salvation.

I've been having dreams - almost nightmares. One was about computer viruses on someone's computer. One was about me getting a speeding ticket for a semi-truck that I wasn't allowed to even drive. These seem very random and off-the-wall. However, I've grasped the meaning of these dreams - as far as I can tell. It seems that my carelessness is what brought about these seeming horrific events. It was because of me that these things happened. I don't mean in a way that's hard on myself - I simply mean that this was the message of these dreams. If I don't watch out and be careful Satan may take over my mind and soul. I must see him lurking around every corner and take action to ensure that the Lord fills my heart so that there in no room for Satan to even try to get in. I must make a pact with the Lord to bring salvation back! Not only in the world - but in my life!

I've also noticed that every time I feel sinful. Every time I feel like I'm not worthy, I always end up doing something really specific. I take a bath. While this doesn't seem like I've realized it's not because sitting in the warm water is soothing - though it is. I've noticed that it's because I feel the need to watch the sin away. To wash Satan off. To allow my guilt to soak out of my life. I've realized that this does nothing without asking God for forgiveness. Without making the pact with Him to bring the salvation back!

So, you and I must make a pact! You and God must make a pact! To bring salvation back!

Born to be Wild

This has nothing to do with the song. On the contrary, it has to do with nothing else but the sheer power, and might of God. Lately, I've been having these feelings. I just feel immense guilt anytime I think about me sinning. My heart becomes heavy to the point where I can't seem to shake the feeling that I don't deserve anything but the wrath of God. After all, what have I done to deserve salvation? I didn't die. Or did I?

God calls us to live for Him. Do His will and cherish his word! Why would we want less than to share his almighty purpose? Where would the hope be if we were destined to live a life of sin with no chance at resurrection? Without the hope of one day meeting the one who placed where we are?

Through these feelings I've discovered that I want nothing more than to share the word of God. Be His follower, and have him guide me where I belong. I don't think I've fought this for many years, however, I do feel I've tried to delay this incomparable destiny. I think that I've spent many years allowing myself to tread the waters of the earth without ever finding the life preserver of the Lord. Now, I don't mean to contradict myself. I knew who God was, I loved him and held Him close. Well, not close, but - inside. I didn't allow his light to touch those around me, however, I allowed the light to touch them while putting Jesus in the shadow and taking the credit. I spent my life wondering why no one was congratulating me, why no one treated me like I've done something good, why no one felt proud of me. I didn't realize that Jesus has done that. And in return I must show him the same good fortune and favor He has given me. Knowing this simple thing enlightened my world more than anything I ever discovered in the Bible - though I'm sure that's in there.

I understand now that my life is meant for Him. My life is no longer to be controlled by my weak choices. I rise from what was once a feeble human, and venture in a dark forest where few tread. A place that fills many with so much fear that they dare not journey into this land. It is not a desert. It is just beyond the clearing where God's salvation is given. The forest is filled with those who took the risk to live for him. It is rich with a soil so fertile that if you were to plant something it would spring up and yield ten-fold. However, it does not come without work. This is a place where God's children can spread His word. They can plant the seeds of the Lord and nurture each seed with gentle kindness and a subtle hand. This forest poses a threat to Satan which can't be contained. He will lash out against anyone who dares enter into the trees. But, God will shower His few precious followers with the ability to banish him to his desert, to the place that yields nothing but hate, anger, revenge, and lust. The forest which I will choose to travel into will have a perpetual tempest of Satan. But with the Lord hovering over to ensure that His crops produce a fruit sweet enough for anyone to taste with no regret I know I will succeed.

Recently, I traveled to a friend's church. I went to watch a performance of a prophetic dance team ('trEd dance' www.treddance.com). The show was amazing and the result it produced in me was what I believe first had me thinking about this step I want to take. Without going into too much detail I will tell that I knew what they were doing was for the Lord. I knew that they were succeeding in their mission to share His word. I understood this very simply. I cried. Not just at the beautiful performance, but because I could feel the Spirit of God in the place. Not just God, but Satan trying to overtake some of the feeble ones who might allow him in while thinking that it is God. I don't understand many of these things that I feel. I have some sort of connection with the Spirit that I can't explain. Maybe I don't even know what it is myself - yet. But then, I suppose we all do.

I know that I was Born to be Wild for the Spirit of the Lord. Taking bold choices to support Him, and allowing risks to be that may alter how people see Him. And I don't mean wild like "Where the Wild Things Are" but a different form. Not dangerous, but carefree. A truly beautiful sight to anyone who might behold it - and especially to the Lord!

I pray for everyone reading, and everyone who's not. I hope that you can pray for me as I venture into the shadow to raise a new generation of followers. I hope some of you may even follow me. But most importantly, I pray that you are learning, listening, and loving the Lord. It may take some time, but you'll get it! Hang in there!

Have a blessed day! I'll talk to you soon!

Prayer of a True Sinner

I am nothing more, nothing less, than a sinner. Even in its mildest form. I would consider myself unworthy of anything except the wrath of God. I know that many of you are shaking your heads right now, wondering what I could have done. But trust me, I have sinned. Everyone has sinned. Even though I feel that I am a completely undeserving human being, a simple detestable rodent in the eye of God, He sees me as his child. He sees me as the servant to him that I am. Even with sin in my life, he knows that I love him. That is why I LOVE God as my father. He is the best one you can find. This blog isn't prompted by any one thing except me. Most people ask that I write some things, or many things in this blog I just stumble upon the realization of, but this is one - this one is truly a prayer. A prayer that I can live in the image of God - everyday. I know He is with me. I know that He is beside me. I will no longer live with God, I will live for Him. I will no longer be a stray cat that God looks after, but a loyal hound dog frantically searching for everyone who needs him.

In my life I have treated myself with the lowest form of sin. I have sinned, knowing that I can control the particular impulse of the sin. I have learned, that unless I actually teem the radiance of God, I will never treat myself like a Godly man. In fact, I wouldn't consider myself a man until now. A man as a human, but still a toddler in my faith. Manhood is brought about by a specific event. Manhood is brought about by the acting like one. Manliness doesn't come from any one thing except your ability to control yourself. Sin is regular. But I CAN control it. It's up to me. In my faith I have now learned to walk, I have now grown enough to know what hurts, I have grown enough to have conditioned myself not to do things. For, before this, the conditioning should have been done already. But now, I realize that it wasn't. I conditioned myself to ask for forgiveness instead of treating my body like a temple of God. I have learned that what I have done is damaging to me and those in my life. I can resist, I just have to try.

This prayer is not just for me, but for everyone. For every sinner who knows the deserve nothing more than the wrath of God. I know that I don't deserve the love and forgiveness of God, but that is why I cry when I think of his mercy. I know that deep down, I couldn't forgive myself, but God - God can forgive any circumstance. I know that the Declaration of Independence I made before now was not truly heart felt. It felt like it came from the heart, but it came from my mind. I know now that what I must do is live in His image - ALL THE TIME! For God is Good all the time, why should I expect less from myself? Why would I allow myself to sin thinking that I am just human? Don't misunderstand me, I know that sin will happen. But I CAN do everything in my power to stop from ruining my relationship with my Father.

The wrath of God is dreadfully revolting. And truthfully I know that I deserve that. I deserve to be treated the way he would treat any other common rodent. But I know that God will treat me with mercy and kindness. I know that when I ask God to forgive he does. His almighty power doesn't stop at wrath - it continues into love. His love is greater than any other kind of love given. For He loves everyone. Sinners, Saints, Angels, and Humans. He treats them with the same respect he treats his only Son. I fall to my knees in adoration for His greatness. I raise my hands in respect for his power. I send my heart to Him with love for his compassion.

No one Christian will know the point in their life when they learn that they TRULY are living for God. I know now that I have been building up to this in my servitude. For my love runs deep, but His love runs so much more deep than any feeble river I can make. But I pray to resolve my life to this: prayer, love, adoration, fear, and respect for my God - my Father. I hold each person accountable for everything I do, as well as everything the people around you do. I know you cannot control my actions, or theirs. But you can show them the Love that God shows to you. You can treat them with the forgiveness God grants to you. You can show that they mean as much to you as your own family. I pray that I can take control of the sin in my life, instead of letting it control me. I resolve that I can treat others with the same respect and kindness shown to me by my Father. I know that I can have love for myself, because of the Love God shows me. I understand that I can do all I can to worship Him. To treat Him with respect. I know that through my persistent perseverance that I can change my life - and the world around me. This is my life. This is my God. This is my prayer.