08 January 2010

Born to be Wild

This has nothing to do with the song. On the contrary, it has to do with nothing else but the sheer power, and might of God. Lately, I've been having these feelings. I just feel immense guilt anytime I think about me sinning. My heart becomes heavy to the point where I can't seem to shake the feeling that I don't deserve anything but the wrath of God. After all, what have I done to deserve salvation? I didn't die. Or did I?

God calls us to live for Him. Do His will and cherish his word! Why would we want less than to share his almighty purpose? Where would the hope be if we were destined to live a life of sin with no chance at resurrection? Without the hope of one day meeting the one who placed where we are?

Through these feelings I've discovered that I want nothing more than to share the word of God. Be His follower, and have him guide me where I belong. I don't think I've fought this for many years, however, I do feel I've tried to delay this incomparable destiny. I think that I've spent many years allowing myself to tread the waters of the earth without ever finding the life preserver of the Lord. Now, I don't mean to contradict myself. I knew who God was, I loved him and held Him close. Well, not close, but - inside. I didn't allow his light to touch those around me, however, I allowed the light to touch them while putting Jesus in the shadow and taking the credit. I spent my life wondering why no one was congratulating me, why no one treated me like I've done something good, why no one felt proud of me. I didn't realize that Jesus has done that. And in return I must show him the same good fortune and favor He has given me. Knowing this simple thing enlightened my world more than anything I ever discovered in the Bible - though I'm sure that's in there.

I understand now that my life is meant for Him. My life is no longer to be controlled by my weak choices. I rise from what was once a feeble human, and venture in a dark forest where few tread. A place that fills many with so much fear that they dare not journey into this land. It is not a desert. It is just beyond the clearing where God's salvation is given. The forest is filled with those who took the risk to live for him. It is rich with a soil so fertile that if you were to plant something it would spring up and yield ten-fold. However, it does not come without work. This is a place where God's children can spread His word. They can plant the seeds of the Lord and nurture each seed with gentle kindness and a subtle hand. This forest poses a threat to Satan which can't be contained. He will lash out against anyone who dares enter into the trees. But, God will shower His few precious followers with the ability to banish him to his desert, to the place that yields nothing but hate, anger, revenge, and lust. The forest which I will choose to travel into will have a perpetual tempest of Satan. But with the Lord hovering over to ensure that His crops produce a fruit sweet enough for anyone to taste with no regret I know I will succeed.

Recently, I traveled to a friend's church. I went to watch a performance of a prophetic dance team ('trEd dance' www.treddance.com). The show was amazing and the result it produced in me was what I believe first had me thinking about this step I want to take. Without going into too much detail I will tell that I knew what they were doing was for the Lord. I knew that they were succeeding in their mission to share His word. I understood this very simply. I cried. Not just at the beautiful performance, but because I could feel the Spirit of God in the place. Not just God, but Satan trying to overtake some of the feeble ones who might allow him in while thinking that it is God. I don't understand many of these things that I feel. I have some sort of connection with the Spirit that I can't explain. Maybe I don't even know what it is myself - yet. But then, I suppose we all do.

I know that I was Born to be Wild for the Spirit of the Lord. Taking bold choices to support Him, and allowing risks to be that may alter how people see Him. And I don't mean wild like "Where the Wild Things Are" but a different form. Not dangerous, but carefree. A truly beautiful sight to anyone who might behold it - and especially to the Lord!

I pray for everyone reading, and everyone who's not. I hope that you can pray for me as I venture into the shadow to raise a new generation of followers. I hope some of you may even follow me. But most importantly, I pray that you are learning, listening, and loving the Lord. It may take some time, but you'll get it! Hang in there!

Have a blessed day! I'll talk to you soon!


  1. Ever since I met you, you have been a shining example of Jesus’ light!

    Guilt. As christians we all feel guilt when we have been disobedient. Guilt is the consciousness that God has given us when we have sinned. That’s a good thing, keeps us accountable. (That’s the little angel and devil on our shoulder :-) ) but one of the promises that we received from the Word of God is that our sin has been justified by God’s grace. “1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” (Romans 5: 1-5)
    When we repent and are baptized in Jesus’ name we receive remission of our sin. Jesus was the only human that is utterly obedient. The rest of us are sinners from birth. . We will never be able to understand ourselves. The only one who really knows us is God. (from today’s devotional): “We are worthy; we are worth Jesus' giving his life for us. Instead of explaining all the reasons we don't deserve such a gift, let's just say "thank you" by living for Christ. I feel certain that nothing could please God more.”

    I’m so proud of you for going to college to study what you want to ‘do’,but I’m even more proud of you for becoming more focused on who you want to ‘be’ as you are growing in your relationship with Christ.
    I love you and pray for you everyday.

    p.s. I caught your reference to vol- He-who-must-not-be-named :)

  2. Thank You. I just pray that I can uphold Christs' love and live in a way that is wholly pleasing to Him. Above all I should worship Him!